Hot Tip: Ziploc Bags Are Not A Genital Covering
The famed Ziploc freezer bag is a wondrous item of kitchen convenience.
According to the handy little baggy’s original maker, your trustworthy friends of S. C. Johnson & Son, this translucent, reusable, and re-sealable zipper storage bag is suitable for the storage of many, many things:
- Produce
- Processed animal flesh in the form of sandwich meat
- Nuts and bolts
- Medicines
- School supplies
- Toiletries
- Children’s toys
- Illegal narcotics
Yes, even John Wayne Bobbit’s severed penis found its way into a Ziploc baggy at one point in time.
Certainly not the S. C. Johnson & Son’s proudest moment in history.
That’s why we at the Hammer and Nigel Show would like to take this opportunity to remind you that a plastic baggy is NOT a suitable genital covering when you’re out cavorting in public while smoking a blunt.
Proof of claim: A naked man was arrested Thursday after Spartanburg County deputies found him out for a stroll wearing “just a clear bag over his genitals.”
According to our heroes in blue, the man was also in possession of marijuana at the time.
The suspect, Michael Boatman, told deputies he was doing a “walk of shame” and needed to complete the walk for his wife. Deputies added that Boatman asked if he could complete the walk; however, deputies informed him that he could not.
Boatman was issued tickets for simple possession of marijuana and public disorderly conduct. A judge issued warrants for indecent exposure and resisting arrest.
Moral Lesson: Keep your crank out of plastic baggies and fully covered when in public. What you choose to do in the privacy of your own home is up to you.
Hammer and Nigel elucidate further on this important matter in the clip below.
https://omny.fm/shows/hammer-and-nigel-show/lewd-nude-dude
