New Vibrating Pill Helps Constipation

The miracle of modern medicine! Doc can now prescribe you a vibrating pill to help with constipation.

Back in August the FDA cleared a new drug, “Vibrant.” The capsules are the size of a regular pill, but instead of releasing medication after swallowed, it vibrates when in the colon. The pill travels though the stomach to the colon to stimulate nerve cells in the gut to trigger ‘peristalsis,’ or muscle contractions to (quite literally) shake things up.

…or in layman’s terms (specifically Hammer’s) “It’ll jiggle the poop out.”

According to Vibrant Gastro, each pill is activated in a little pod that turns on right before a person takes it. The capsule is then ‘active’ for about two hours, quiet for six, then reactivates for another two hours. After the pill has run its course, it’ll end up in a happy ever after in the toilet.

Now this drug-free option is headed to the market, though not covered by insurance. So, in case you can’t afford the $70/month, Dr. Nigel is in with his own personal at home remedy for a packed gut.

“Drink a warm sixer of PBR and scarf $20 bucks worth of Taco Bell, dude you’ll be gushin’. “

Disclaimer: Nigel is not a real doctor. The Hammer and Nigel show are not responsible for any gushing or non-gushingthat may occur. Restrictions will never apply. See White Castle for more options.