Listen Live

*Before you ask, no, WIBC has not been purchased by the Babylon Bee. 

Bad news, parents. It turns out your newborn infant might be a racist.

Yes, the Arizona Department of Education has determined in its infinite wisdom that racism develops in children as young as three-months-old.

Oh, we know what you’re thinking: “How can my baby be a racist? It hasn’t even determined what gender it is yet.”

Well, fret not, parent of racist diaper-filler! There is hope.

The Arizona DOE has created a helpful toolkit to counter your baby’s racist tendencies before he crawls off and joins the Klan.

The toolkit shows a spectrum of children from birth to ages over six, with the title “They’re not too young to talk about race!” It cites a study that shows at birth, “babies look equally at faces of all races. At 3 months, babies look more at faces that match the race of their caregivers.”

The kit also includes recommended readings that suggest that white people are “ignorant, color-blind, and racist,” according to Discovery Institute scholar Christopher Rufo.

The document also cites a book by Beverly Daniel Tatum that says there are “only three ways to be white: ignorant, color-blind, and racist.” Because these options may prevent people from wanting to identify as white, there needs to be an “antiracist white identity.”

And you thought canceling Dr. Seuss was the dumbest thing you’d hear this week.

Mock n’ Rob have more in the clip below.