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Bad news, everyone: We’re all going to be dead in 12 years. 

We’re fully cognizant of the fact that you might need a couple of minutes to absorb this devastating and unimpeachable fact. Take a moment to collect yourself. Breathe. Hug your goldfish. We get it; we never saw Venice either.

Who would have believed that the end of humanity was just a little over a decade away? 

UPDATE:

The earthly damnation proclamation that was issued three seconds ago was based on the scientific findings of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Democratic Congresswoman and the U.S. government’s version of an Andy Kauffman act. Everything’s fine now.

Here’s what happened, according to USA Today:

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez said Monday that she and other young Americans fear “the world is going to end in 12 years if we don’t address climate change.”

Why the number 12? Because it sounds pretty. Duh!

Ocasio-Cortez called the fight to mitigate the effects of climate change her generation’s “World War II.” 

*Editor’s note: bold-face font added to emphasize the hideous lunacy of AOC’s comments.

“Millennials, and Gen Z, and all these folks that come after us, are looking up and we’re like, ‘The world will end in 12 years if we don’t address climate change, and your biggest issue is how are we gonna pay for it?’” she said.

WIBC hosts the Chicks on the Right begin getting their personal affairs in order and saying their goodbye’s in the following clip. Click to enjoy. Click again to enjoy again.