(Michael Ochs Archives / Handout / Getty Images)
There have been many a hard-fought debates throughout our proud American history – debates that have destroyed friendships and severed family ties.
Did Bush Lie About Iraq Having Weapons of Mass Destruction?
Should Drugs be Legalized in the U.S.?
Is Nic Cage The World’s Best Actor or the World’s Worst? (both)
Tastes Great or Less Filling?
Chicken or Egg?
Ginger or Mary Ann?
Hammer or Nigel?
And of course, which one of the little bas*ards who found Golden Tickets deserved to run Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory?
Denise Nickerson, who played “Violet Beauregarde,” was taken off of life support and passed away Wednesday at the age of 62, one year after suffering a stroke.
According to WIBC host Jason Hammer, no one deserved the keys to Willy Wonka’s kingdom more than “Violet,” and he made his case in a surprisingly forceful and articulate commentary.
“It’s Violet that earns it. She’s the one that’s most knowledgable about candy and gum. She was a gum person, but she made the decision to switch to Wonka Bars for the sake of the contest. That shows passion to me. That shows leadership.
She’s also the one who is most qualified to run that business. Her dad was the town’s used car salesman and a politician. So she’s got the media in her back pocket, she knows how to talk to people to win them over. She’s the one who is the most fit to run that business.
She also was the most sympathetic to the Oompa Loompas. Because there was that one scene where Willy Wonka actually admits that he used the Oompa Loompas as test subjects for that three course meal gum that ultimately turned her into a blueberry. Well, I think that shows incredible leadership to say, ‘Hey, don’t use the Oompa Loompas. I’ll step up. I’ll be the leader.’ If you’re an Oompa Loompa, you’re thinking, ‘That’s who I want as my boss.’ And the Oompa Loompas are the workers, so you make the workers happy, you have a happy workforce.
Also, her mistake was minor compared to what the other kids did. You got Mike Teevee’s goofy ass who made himself down to like the size of a peanut. Veruca Salt was just awful; her people skills would never fly. Plus, her dad would make her sell the company anyway. And then you got Charlie. Charlie was way too naive, and then he was a thief! They were stealing the soda and then damaged the entire room and got finger prints all over everything. Not to mention the downfall that his awful grandfather would be.
So by process of elimination, Violent clearly deserved to get the keys to the kingdom.”
Hammer also offered his take on Charlie’s Grandpa to a half impressed, half terrified Rob Kendall. Click below to check it out.
