Expectant millennial mothers who don’t abort their babies are increasingly concerned with the health and welfare of their unborn child.
They religiously take their prenatal vitamins and eat right. They exercise regularly. They even cut back on smoking.
And then they reveal the gender of their baby by detonating an explosive device DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF THEIR fat little bellies.
Yes, we’re talking about the disturbingly popular “Gender Reveal Party.”
The tradition involves torturing your closest family and friends by forcing them to attend a self-indulgent lame-ass party where you serve your guests some low-grade food, warm 2-liter bottles of soda, and stale cookies. In exchange, guests are expected to give you presents.
The highlight of the event features the mom and dad-to-be detonating an explosive of some sort filled with pink or blue powder. Meanwhile, the world burns.
The tradition is absolutely wretched and offers no legitimate pleasure for attendees beyond a brief distraction from the fact that Joe Biden is president.
And here’s the thing: People die at these “parties” rather frequently. Four people were killed at them in 2021 alone.
The luckier guests only leave the party with moderate to severe injuries. They also become viral video sensations.
Meet social media’s newest star: a tobacco-smoking grandma-to-be who takes an explosive soccer ball to the face. Take note of how no one rushes to her aid as she chokes to death on toxic pink dust.
Hammer and Nigel will have an update on Grandma’s condition later today.
