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We’ve grown increasingly concerned about the possibility that Joe Biden is suffering from substance abuse problems. He slurs his words, he loses his train of thought mid-sentence, and he nearly gave Kamala Harris a promotion on the day he pulled this little stunt:

And let’s not forget about his habit of invading the personal space of semi-attractive to attractive women, the hair-sniffing, or the time he allegedly crapped his pants in front of the Pope and then fired a warning shot across the bow of the Duchess of Cornwall the very next day.

Here’s a photograph of Biden’s assault on the Duchess as it occurred on that fateful day:

The natural instinct is to blame these issues on age and dementia, but Biden’s 100% trustworthy medical experts keep assuring the American people that Hunter’s dad is just fine.

Therefore, the only plausible explanation for Biden’s behavior is that he’s a raging alcoholic. He might not be a ‘Pelosi-level’ drunk (What person is?), but every person with substance abuse issues starts small. In the beginning, you’re just having a few beers with your buddies. Next thing you know, you’re snorting parmesan cheese out of the carpet with Hunter.

This recently-unearthed video of Biden expressing his love for President Kamala Harris is the latest example of Biden struggling to hold his liquor:

You know what? I’m going to give him a pass on this one. After all, a lot of people are turning to alcohol to cope with three more years of a Biden administration. Joe’s entitled to the same relief through self-medication as the rest of us.

Hang in there, Joe. We’ll get through the horror of your presidency together. The key is to take it one day at a time.

And now, the prayer of political serenity.

“God, grant me the serenity to accept that Joe Biden is the President, the courage to make it through the next three years without killing myself, and the wisdom to always vote for the Republican candidate for President – regardless of how many mean tweets he sends. Amen.”