Prepare to be stunned and amazed by the intellectual genius of your government, America.
U.S. Surgeon General Vivek H. Murthy issued an urgent warning to parents across the fruited plain Tuesday about a mental health crisis emerging among adolescents. Specifically, kids are suffering from depression, anxiety, and other mental and emotional challenges that – in a TOTALLY unrelated matter – began appearing around the same time the idiots in government put the country on house arrest and forced us to wear face diapers.
Here’s the trustworthy government data:
- 25% of our youth are experiencing depressive symptoms.
- 20% are experiencing anxiety symptoms.
- There also appears to be an increase in negative emotions or behaviors such as impulsivity and irritability — associated with conditions such as attention deficit hyperactivity disorder or ADHD.
- In early 2021, emergency department visits in the United States for suspected suicide attempts were 51% higher for adolescent girls and 4% higher for adolescent boys compared to the same time period in early 2019.
A normal person of moderate intelligence would look at the above data and exclaim, “Well, hot dog, Skippy! Maybe scaring the living piss out of our children by beating them with a nonstop barrage of pandemic fear porn wasn’t such a swell idea after all! Maybe lockdowns, school closures, child isolation, and other hysterically paranoid measures aren’t the answer! Maybe we should not this crap off.”
Sadly, persons of moderate intelligence rarely attain positions of prominence and power in Government.
So since our leaders are morons, they’re recommending parents forget who is responsible for this whole mess and let the government (who is responsible for this whole mess) take action on the “local, tribal, state and federal level” by investing “in a pipeline for counselors, nurses, social workers, and school psychologists.”
Of course, there’s likely to be a shortage of “counselors, nurses, social workers, and school psychologists,” to assist the government (who is responsible for this whole mess) in tackling the problem due to government vaccine mandates for all “counselors, nurses, social workers, and school psychologists.”
But don’t worry, parents. Big pharma stands at the ready to provide heavy medication for your children to aid them in coping with government-induced depression, anxiety, and other mental and emotional challenges.
Moment of Wisdom: It’s a shame so many of our most powerful government officials are in the “senior coffee” crowd. They really should be here to witness the full horror of their incompetence play out in the years to come.
Join me in a moment of prayer, won’t you?
“Dear God, please bless Joe Biden, Nancy Pelosi, Anthony Fauci, and all their ignorant enablers with decent enough health to keep them alive for the next several decades. Amen.”
Now, Mock n’ Rob.