Listen Live

Attention Wretched Souls of Indianapolis: 

You’re invited to what Naptown political insiders are calling the lamest party since Indy Mayor Joe Hogsett’s “Fireworks Free” Fourth of July Celebration!

WHAT: Mayor Hogsett’s Magnificent Masquerade Mandate of Fun

WHEN: July 8, 2020 – Mayor Joe is removed from office and replaced with a public official who retains a functioning frontal lobe.

WHERE: Marion County, Indiana, “Where looters are free from punishment and barbers are punished to the fullest extent of the law. Try our world-famous tenderloins!”

WHY: Because 0.04024% of American citizens have succumbed to a deadly virus for which cloth masks are completely ineffective but totally necessary to provide a false sense of security for the drooling masses.

WHAT TO WEAR: A homemade cloth mask that will trap and collect dangerous airborne contaminants, allowing you to more readily inhale them during future wearings.

PLEASE NOTE: Looters are encouraged to wear comfortable walking shoes. Kevlar vests are optional but strongly encouraged.

Downtown attendees to “Mayor Hogsett’s Magnificent Masquerade Mandate of Fun” are asked to pack a sack lunch due to an unexpected mass exodus of downtown eating establishments and businesses post-riots.

Public transportation will be provided via Indy’s world-infamous Red Line!

Please Note: All Red Line offers subject to Red Line busses actually functioning.

Click below to get more details from WIBC host Tony Katz!


(Photo by Maureen Keating/CQ Roll Call via Getty Images)