In these complicated American times, it’s nice to see a couple of bright young men working out their differences with a refreshing and flavorful “assault beverage.”
Twisted Tea, the makers of hard iced tea in EXCEPTIONALLY hard cans, is constantly asking its customers to show the drink manufacturer “how you unwind.”
For an unnamed Twisted Tea enthusiast who visited an Ohio Circle K this week, the answer to that question is a resounding: “By using a can of ‘Twisted Tea’ to beat the ever-lovin’ crap out of a loud-mouthed racist.”
Yes, an all-new feel-good viral video is making the rounds on social media this holiday season. It features a white man getting smacked in the face with a can of Twisted Tea after he repeatedly calls a black customer the n-word.
The holiday classic begins with a white customer informing the black gentlemen behind him that he intends to perform a sexual act on the black man’s mother.
H&N Pro-Tip: Telling a stranger you intend to have sex with his mother is rarely advisable when attempting to establish a solid foundation for a long-term friendship.
Soon-to-be-pulverized white guy then calls the black man the ‘n-word’ multiple times in a row.
H&N Pro-Tip: Calling a stranger the ‘n-word’ multiple times in a row is rarely advisable when attempting to establish a solid foundation for a long-term friendship.
After 45 seconds of listening to the racist white man call him the ‘n-word,’ the black man, who happens to be a fan of ‘Twisted Tea,’ uses a can of the popular beverage to smack the loudmouth racist in the face.
The fight continues on the ground… Sort of.
Basically, the white guy keeps trying to save face and act tough, which ultimately results in him receiving multiple punishing blows TO the face.
Okay, that’s a great video. Now try it with a little Dave Matthews Band:
See? Much better.
H&N Pro-Tip: If you happen to get smacked in the face with a can of Twisted Tea by a man twice your size, DO NOT ATTEMPT TO ENGAGE IN FURTHER FISTICUFFS. You have only ONE option in this scenario…