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Hollywood actor Johnny Depp and ex-wife Amber Heard battled each other in a British courtroom Tuesday, with the star blasting his ex as “sociopathic’’ while denying claims he beat her and threatened to throw her dog from a speeding car.

“[Heard] said to the world that she was in fear of her life from me and I had been this horrible monster, if you will. Which was not the case,’’ Depp said in a written statement released as he took the stand in a libel case.

“I am now convinced that she came into my life to take from me anything worth taking and then destroy what remained of it.”

Depp is suing Britain’s The Sun over a 2018 article that called him a “wife beater.”

Depp accused Heard of cheating on him, chopping off the tip of one of his fingers, burning his cheek with a cigarette, and pooping in their bed as a prank (as you do).

The dog incident occurred after Heard’s 30th birthday in their Los Angeles penthouse in May 2016.

“I understand that the following morning [after the party], Ms. Heard defecated in our shared bed,” Depp said, according to the statement.

“On 12 May 2016, Ms. Heard confessed to our estate manager, Kevin Murphy, that leaving the feces in the bed had been ‘just a harmless prank,’ thereby effectively acknowledging that she had been responsible, whereas she had previously sought to blame our dogs,’’ Depp added.

COTR Pro Tip: Don’t put in your marital bed. It takes all the romance out of the marriage.

Heard, meanwhile, has claimed that Depp is a jealous, rage-filled, drunken, drug-using abuser.

In proceedings Tuesday, Depp was accused of joking about putting Amber Heard’s tiny dog in the microwave and dangling it out of a car window while he smoked a cigarette (as you do).

Depp denied the accusations, but he did admit to an incident in which the dog got a hold of a little ball of hashish and ate it before the star could retrieve it.

Fun Fact: Five different courtrooms are being taken up by the Depp proceedings because of social-distancing concerns amid the coronavirus pandemic.

The Chicks on the Right break down on the delightful and fecal-filled facts about the Johnny Depp libel suit court proceedings in the clip below.

(Photo by DANIEL LEAL-OLIVAS/AFP via Getty Images)