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And Now, a Helpful Parenting Tip from The Hammer and Nigel Radio Extravaganza:

Never place yourself in a position in which you must win a nationwide arm-wrestling tournament in order to regain custody of your long-lost child.

For Additional Related Parenting Tips and Advice, Please Reference the Cinema Classic, “Over The Top.”

Thank you for your adherence to the “no arm wrestling for child custody” rule. And always remember, the world meets nobody halfway.

“Over The Top” Parenting Bonus Tip: 

Don’t fire a gun at your son if he happens to defeat you in an arm-wrestling match.

Case in Point: Curtis Zimmerman, 55-year-old Kentucky resident and dumbass.

Curtis Zimmerman was involved in an arm-wrestling contest with his son last weekend that turned violent and led to an 8-hour standoff with Kentucky deputies.

Here Are The Facts As We Know Them:

  • Last weekend, Curtis Zimmermann ingested several ounces of a refreshing alcoholic beverage.
  • Curtis Zimmerman, heavily plied with alcohol, challenged his young son to an arm-wrestling match.
  • Curtis Zimmermann lost that match.
  • Curtis Zimmerman lost several more arm-wrestling matches with his son after that.
  • Curtis Zimmerman became upset.
  • Curtis Zimmerman owns a gun.
  • Curtis Zimmerman used that gun to fire a couple of rounds at his son.
  • Curtis Zimmerman’s family called the police.
  • When authorities arrived, two of Curtis Zimmerman’s family members were outside but Curtis Zimmerman remained inside the home and refused to leave, leading to an 8-hour standoff.
  • Curtis Zimmerman surrendered and was booked into a Florence, Kentucky jail.
  • Curtis Zimmerman will have ample opportunity to practice his arm-wrestling skills during his incarceration, which should be forthcoming shortly

Moral of Curtis Zimmerman’s Story: Never arm-wrestle your son unless you are absolutely positive you can beat him. Also, don’t shoot at your kids.

Please Note: The aforementioned tips about arm-wrestling your kid also apply to in-home ping-pong tournaments.

Now enjoy this quality segment from the Hammer and Nigel Show: