Hunter Biden: Cheese Smoking Enthusiast
Hunter Biden sat down for an interview with CBS News to promote his upcoming book in which he admitted to smoking parmesan cheese because it resembled his favorite diet staple of all time: crack cocaine.
Biden, a man with no marketable skillset beyond causing embarrassment to his father and bringing shame upon his family name, said he would search through carpeting trying to find traces of the drug, but would sometimes come up with cheese instead.
“I spent more time on my hands and needs picking through rugs, smoking anything that even remotely resembled crack cocaine,” said Biden, a multi-millionaire through no fault of his own. “I probably smoked more parmesan cheese than anyone.”
Editor’s Note: We can say with great confidence that we’ve never met a single person in our lives who has smoked any parmesan cheese, let alone massive quantities of it. We’re not taking anything away from Hunter’s accomplishments, mind you. We’re just saying, it’s not much of a race if you’re the only guy there running laps.
Biden describes in his upcoming memoir, “Beautiful Things,” how he once was unsure if he had crack cocaine or a flake of parmesan from a cheese platter he had ordered.
“It didn’t matter: I smoked it. If it was crack, great. If it wasn’t, I’d take a hit, exhale, and exclaim, “S—, that’s not it – that’s the f—— cheese!”
Hunter also notes how he would often eat white cheddar popcorn while driving, which he also would smoke when desperately clawing at the floorboards of his automobile.
“Again, the crack crumbs were often indistinguishable from the spilled snacks,” he wrote. “Safe to say I’ve smoked more cheddar popcorn than anybody on the face of the earth.”
Say what you want about former President Donald Trump, but his kids turned out pretty darn well.
WIBC’s Rob Kendall and Jason Hammer have more on Hunter’s exciting tales of smoking cheese in the clip below.
https://omny.fm/shows/hammer-and-nigel-show/hunter-biden-smoked-cheese
