The state of Oregon became the first state to decriminalize hard drugs like heroin, cocaine, and meth in a 59-41% vote as of early Wednesday morning, according to the Associated Press.
Just what Portland needs: rioters doing bumps of blow!
The “Drug Addiction Treatment and Recovery Act” will transition Oregon’s drug policy to “a humane, cost-effective, health approach.”
“People suffering from addiction are more effectively treated with health care services than with criminal punishments,” the bill reads. “A health care approach includes a health assessment to figure out the needs of people who are suffering from addiction, and it includes connecting them to the services they need.”
Instead of treating drug users as criminals, Oregon will now offer them addiction services funded by marijuana tax revenue, which is more than $100 million a year in the state.
Keep in mind Oregon is one of two states – New Jersey is the other – where it is illegal to pump your own gas in all major cities.
The reason? Pumping your own gas is considered a “health hazard.” Got that? Pumping gas is bad for your health, but feel free to do copious amounts of cocaine and heroin, folks!
Please Note, Rioters and Addicts: Only small amounts of drugs are decriminalized, such as less than 1 gram of heroin; 2 grams of cocaine or methamphetamine; 12 grams of psilocybin mushrooms; and 40 doses of LSD, oxycodone, or methadone.
Do you know what else you can’t do in Oregon? Own a Kangaroo as a pet, which for some reason is a deal-breaker for “Mock and Rob Show” executive producer Matt Hibbeln.
Mock and Rob discuss the potential merits and benefits of Kangaroo ownership in the clip below.
Click to enjoy. Click to listen. Click because you love yourself and need a distraction from the election results.