Are you a cinema enthusiast whose taste in films resides in your rectum? Then you’re going to love the all-new Hollywood thriller from Signature Entertainment, “The Murder of Nicole Brown Simpson,” based upon the murder of Nicole Brown Simpson!
“The Murder of Nicole Brown Simpson” is not your usual direct-to-video, low-budget, bio-pic bullsh*t. No, “The Murder of Nicole Brown Simpson,” based upon the murder of Nicole Brown Simpson, takes the murder of Nicole Brown Simpson and implies that the fellow who murdered Nicole Brown Simpson was NOT O.J. Simpson, who was the ACTUAL fellow responsible for the ACTUAL murder of Nicole Brown Simpson in real life.
In short, “The Murder of Nicole Brown Simpson” does for O.J. Simpson what “I, Tonya” did for Tonya Harding: it completely re-writes history and turns the mastermind of a horrific crime into an innocent victim.
Ah, but how did the writers of “The Murder of Nicole Brown Simpson” go about crafting their fictional account of Nicole Brown Simpson’s murder, which was committed by O.J. Simpson? It was a fairly complex two-step process.
Step 1: Collect and Examine all Facts and Evidence Surrounding the Actual Murder of Nicole Brown Simpson.
Step 2: Ignore All Facts and Evidence Surrounding the Actual Murder of Nicole Brown Simpson and get to writing!
Of course, it’s much easier to turn O.J. Simpson, the fellow who actually murdered Nicole Brown Simpson, into a victim because O.J. is black! Therefore, the writers of “The Murder of Nicole Brown Simpson” are able to leverage the inherent racism of American society as a throughline for the plot of “The Murder of Nicole Brown Simpson.” In doing so, the filmmakers bravely force the audience to confront their own racism.
“Why was Nicole Brown Simpson murdered?” Because we live in a society that elected Donald Trump as President. THAT’S why, Skippy!
That’s right, Mr. and Mrs. Deplorable, you’ve got just as much blood on your hands as O.J. Simpson doesn’t!
Conclusion: Every white person in America murdered Nicole Brown Simpson, and you should all be ashamed of yourselves.
Also, check out the trailer:
Hammer and Nigel will have additional commentary on “The Murder of Nicole Brown Simpson” today from 3pm-7pm on WIBC.