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Well, the grand and glorious Hollywood production of “Being Mortal” has been suspended. Further, it’s all Bill Murray’s fault apparently.

What did he do? The details aren’t clear, but it must have been simply awful if the fine, morally upright, and Christian-principled folk of Hollywoodland USA felt it necessary to halt production on what was undoubtedly destined to become a cinematic masterpiece. You know, one of those films that wins all kinds of awards but no one bothers to see it?

Here’s the deal:

Deadline has learned that production was halted because Bill Murray has been accused of “inappropriate behavior.”


The complaint was filed last week, production was halted on Monday, and a decision ultimately was made to suspend production going forward as the investigation continues and next steps are decided on.

Wow. Sounds super serious.

But here’s the thing: “inappropriate behavior” in the post-Weinstein, generation snowflake era of Hollywood could mean anything from “Bill Murray intentionally misgendered someone” to “Bill Murray pushed his face into a woman’s breasts and did the old ‘motorboat’ schtick.”

Yes, some overly sensitive weiners say Bill Murray has a history of losing his temper on sets, but let’s examine those multiple claims of conduct over the years and see who was really at fault.

During the production of “Charlie’s Angels,” Murray advised Lucy Liu that she can’t act for crap and Liu got all crybaby about it. Hey, it needed to be said. She may have been completely unaware of her deficiencies as an untrained thespian. As a result of Bill’s generous and constructive criticism, Liu had the opportunity to further her training and grow as an actress from “really awful” to “not as awful as before, but almost.” He was helping her career, not tearing her down.

And yes, Murray also allegedly headbutted the director of “Charlie’s Angels,” Joseph McGinty Nichol. But again, the director has casting approval, and he’s the guy who said “yes” to Lucy Liu. The man needed to be disciplined for that egregious error in judgment. The director was making Liu embarrass herself on film for the entire world to eventually see. Murray was probably just feeling protective of Liu and needed to punish the man responsible for putting her in such a vulnerable position. It was an act of chivalry, nothing more.

And yes, Murray also informed Richard Dreyfuss that he was despised during the production of “What About Bob?”

Reflecting on the happy memory, Dreyfuss recalled:

“He put his face next to me, nose-to-nose, and he screamed at the top of his lungs, ‘Everyone hates you! You are tolerated!’”

Dreyfuss continued: “There was no time to react because he leaned back and he took a modern glass-blown ashtray. He threw it at my face from [only a couple feet away]. And it weighed about three-quarters of a pound. And he missed me. He tried to hit me. I got up and left.”

Yet again, I must remind you that there are two sides to every story. It’s clear from Murray’s comments that everyone obviously hated Richard Dreyfuss and was forced to tolerate him. That must have made the set absolutely unbearable for the cast and crew. Therefore, Mr. Murray took it upon himself to eliminate Dreyfuss.

Okay, so his assassination attempt failed, but he tried his best. It was an act of humble service to his community of fellow film workers. He was obviously driven by compassion for others – not malice for Dreyfuss. Should we really shame the man for having such a sensitive and loving heart? We need more of that in this world, not less.

And yes, on that same production, Murray threw producer Laura Ziskin into a lake. But again, who’s to say that Mr. Murray didn’t courageously take that action to save Ziskin from a greater danger on land? Maybe she was about to get charged by a rabid goose with a bad attitude?

Do you see what could have happened? Murray saved Ziskin. He was bravely willing to sacrifice himself. Would you have the courage to do the same if you were in a life or death situation like that?

And yes, Murray had a falling out with life-long buddy Harold Ramis after getting into a shouting match with him on the set of “Groundhog Day,” but that’s because Ramis apparently grabbed Bill by the shirt at one point during the argument and threw him against a wall. Would you tolerate something like that from a friend? Words are violence, but physical violence is real violence.

But get this: Before Ramis died in February 2014, Murray showed up unannounced at 7 a.m. one day at his house with a box of doughnuts and a police escort.

Further, Ramis had autoimmune inflammatory vasculitis and had lost the ability to speak by then. But guess what? Bill Murray still hung out with him for a couple of hours anyway. Do you have any idea how boring that must have been? You try hanging out for an afternoon with a guy who can’t talk and can barely move. It’s no picnic, my friend.

Look, we have no idea what Bill Murray did or didn’t do on the set of “Being Mortal,” okay? But we do know this: whatever happened, there’s a perfectly logical explanation for it and Bill Murray’s not at fault. He’s the victim here.

Hey, while you’re here and preparing to write an angry email to WIBC management, listen to the following segment from Kendall & Casey;