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New York City is in the throes of a glorious nudity epidemic.

Five people in total have observed multiple “American Nomen Nudums” – long believed by scientists to be extinct – over the past week, with three reports of the fleshy species sighted at the 17 1/2-acre Roosevelt Park, which surrounds the American Museum of Natural History.

Scientists speculate that the naked nuisance species has been driven from its natural habitat due to climate change and is entering the populated urban areas of New York City in search of food.

According to a detailed analysis by the New York Post, the most common areas in which New York residents can observe naked men in the wild are Theodore Roosevelt and Riverside parks.

For tourists who are unfamiliar with the area, ask your local tour guide for directions or consult the WAZE app where sightings of nude persons are updated on the regular.

Park Rangers request that visitors do not approach the “American Nomen Nudum” if they encounter one in the wild. Observe from a safe distance and avoid taunting, teasing, or sharing popcorn with the creatures.

“The best thing to do is just let ’em be,” a local New York City park ranger told WIBC’s Mock n’ Rob Show. “You never know if one of them dadgum things is gonna be hopped up on some Sneaky Pete wine they found in the garbage folks leave lying around. Just keep your distance and enjoy their majesty,” he added.

The Mock n’ Rob Show recently obtained exclusive footage of an “American Nomen Nudum” that was recently spotted in New York City’s Central Park.


We apologize. That was Actor Steve Guttenberg in his most memorable screen performance since “Short Circuit.”

Mock n’ Rob have more on this important story in the clip below.