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Attention Aliens, UFOs, and Makers of Really Lousy So-Called Art: 

Quit putting your unsightly sculptures, paintings, and other assorted “creative expressions” in places where people are actually forced to see it.

Yes, we realize you worked really hard on it.

Yes, we know you’re inexplicably proud of it.

And yes, we realize your mom came down to the basement when it was all done and told you it was “beautiful.” She was lying. And she’s also embarrassed that you came out of her body.

Are you paying attention, maker of Utah monolith? That silly little metal sculpture that you planted in the desert was a real eyesore.

Fortunately, some nice gentlemen took it upon themselves to knock it over and throw it away – just like you’re throwing your life away pretending to be an “artist” when you could be making good money as an electrician.


Thank you, unnamed citizens, for removing this hideous hunk of tin. America owes you a debt of gratitude.

Also, listen to the following segment from Hammer and Nigel.