Mariah Carey, Brenda Lee, Burl Ives, all legends behind some of the most timeless Christmas music. It’s easy to debate the greatest Christmas songs of all time. However, it may be even harder to debate what artist has graced the world with the worst Christmas song of all time.
Original Cinemaniac released a list of the top 12 Christmas Carols from Hell. These are songs that aren’t just annoying, but could truly be used in torture for prisoners.
Hammer and Nigel preview just a couple of the historically terrible holiday songs, listen below!
“Little Drummer Boy” — William Hung
William Hung brought us unforgettable vocals on American Idol, but his take on “Little Drummer Boy” is truly a gift no one asked for. Imagine a drum with a broken snare rolling down a hill while someone shouts encouragement from behind it—that’s roughly the vibe. Earnest? Absolutely. On pitch? Not really. Unforgettable? Oh yes.
“Jingle Bells” — William Shatner
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No Christmas list of oddities would be complete without Captain Kirk himself. William Shatner doesn’t sing Jingle Bells so much as dramatically narrate it while sounding mildly alarmed. The result feels like a spoken-word performance at a Starfleet holiday party gone off the rails. It’s theatrical, chaotic, and completely, weirdly iconic.
“Jingle Hell” — Christopher Lee
Yes, Saruman recorded a heavy-metal Christmas track, and honestly? That’s kind of incredible. But “Jingle Hell” is less about holiday cheer and more about summoning ancient Yuletide spirits with a double-kick drum. Christopher Lee’s booming, operatic metal vocals transform “Jingle Bells” into a song that could accompany a Christmas battle scene in Middle-earth.
“Away in a Manger” — The Brady Bunch
Sweet, innocent, wholesome… and surprisingly disorienting. The Brady Bunch kids’ rendition of “Away in a Manger” is dripping with sincerity, but the harmonies wobble like a decoration hanging from a loose tree branch. It’s nostalgic, yes—but in the same way an old mall Santa costume is nostalgic: slightly unsettling but hard to look away from.
