(Screen Capture: YouTube.com/GuardianNews)
I love love. Don’t you just LOVE love?
Hey, here’s a sweet and romantic story about love that turned a husband-to-be into public enemy #1 in the SWJ global fight to combat terroristic sexism.
Edgaras Averbuchas, a man whose teachers cruelly forced him to spell his name correctly by the age of five, proposed to his girlfriend recently.
Oh, it was quite the proposal too! Old E–D–G–A–R–A–S–A–V–E–R–B–U–C–H–A–S (I’ve got BINGO!) kneeled down right in front of his girlfriend as she walked the stage at her graduation ceremony.
Have a look at a unique proposal and bad camera work:
This Gentleman’s Proposal Was:
- A. Sexist
- B. Romantic
- C. An embarrassingly lame way to ‘pop the question’ that managed to rival all those jackasses who propose at sporting events.
Edgaras, have you ever been to a graduation ceremony before? You know how long those things are? You have to sit through the WHOLE DAMN THING. Sometimes they have as many as 500-1,000 names to read through! Hours of boredom without a potty break, and then on top of that, I have to add another 5-10 minutes on the clock so you can propose to your main squeeze? THAT’S why the graduates from the University down the street are going to beat us to Applebees?
Let me tell you, Edgaras, if I’d have been in attendance at that ceremony, I’d have been pissed. Hell, I wasn’t there and I’m still pissed! Christmas is ruined!
But let’s get back to one of the more concerning aspects of this story: AVERBUCHAS. Mr. and Mrs. Averbuchas.
What the heck, Edgaras? You didn’t suffer enough abuse from your peers growing up, so now you drag another innocent person into your sick world of last name dysfunction?
You didn’t think this crap through at all, did you? The first time your blushing bride attempts to order a pizza, reserve a table at a restaurant, or book a room at a Howard Johnson’s, you’ll be calling her an Uber to drive her to her mom’s house and picking up pieces of your vinyl collection from the front lawn.
Here’s what I’m saying, Edgaras: Do the right thing and take HER last name.
Now I know what you’re thinking: “Won’t that make me less of a man? Won’t they think my wife wears the pants in the family? Won’t they call me ‘gay boy’?”
Well, yes frankly. But here’s the thing: Not only will it save your marriage, but it’ll also get those ridiculous SJWs off your back by doing the “enlightened and progressive” thing.
You’re welcome.
Also, listen to the Hammer and Nigel show from 4pm-7pm, Edgaras. You’ll want to thank me for that one as well, buds.
