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“Hey Alexa! Play WIBC host Jason Hammer’s new hit single, “Ode to My Sunburned (CENSORED BY MANAGEMENT).”
Yes, the aforementioned sentence is destined to be spoken by Americans from coast-to-coast ahead of the 2020 Grammy Awards, as music fans clamor for the musical stylings of American Idol reject (he didn’t even make it past the parking lot before producers turned him away) J-Ham, aka HamSlam, aka Sir. Elton Hammer.
Hammers’ latest hit, “Ode to My Sunburned (CENSORED BY MANAGEMENT)” was inspired by the latest celebrity fad: (Censored by Management) Tanning.
Here’s what the critics are saying:
“An American musical triumph.” – Billboard Magazine
“It’s got a beat, and you can burn the living (CENSORED BY MANAGEMENT) out of your (CENSORED BY MANAGEMENT) to it!” – Spin Magazine
“Pure sh*t! An exercise in bad taste and an egregious violation of standards for the WIBC brand – a station where Vice President Mike Pence once hosted a show.” – WIBC Program Director David Wood.
What is (CENSORED BY MANAGEMENT), the daily regime that left actor Josh Brolin bed-ridden for three days and only able to consume soft foods while he recovered from severe (CENSORED BY MANAGEMENT) scarring, blistering, and peeling? (CENSORED BY MANAGEMENT) tanning involves removing one’s pants and underwear, placing the legs behind the head, and exposing the (CENSORED BY MANAGEMENT) to UV rays for a period of 5 minutes MAXIMUM.
“Ode to My Sunburned (CENSORED BY MANAGEMENT) is available to WIBC listeners at no charge by clicking the link below.
In other news, WIBC host “Daisy” of the Chicks on the Right recently revealed that she spent some time on a stripper pole back in the day, and Friday morning, photographic evidence of her claim was presented to her co-workers for verification!
Please Note: The photo is AWESOME, but attorneys for “Mock” and “Daisy” (plus fear that Daisy’s husband would beat us all to the point that we were left to drown in a pile of our own bloody juices), prevents it publication at this time.
Enjoy today’s SpeedRound:
