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Hoosier residents around the state are anxiously awaiting the biggest blockbuster disappointment of the summer when Governor Eric Holcomb will finally reveal his uninspiring plan for… “INFLATIONARY RELIEF.”

The Governor has been building lackluster enthusiasm for weeks in advance of Friday’s official unveiling of “Inflationary Relief,” offering little to no details beyond this little juicy tidbit: It won’t feature a suspension of the gas tax. It also won’t feature a reduction in the gas tax. THERE WILL BE NO MENTION WHATSOEVER OF THE GAS TAX.

Why No Suspension Of The Gas Tax?

More than likely, political insiders tell Kendall & Casey, our crafty and clever governor wants to focus his efforts on less practical solutions that will provide little to no benefit to Hoosier families struggling with the highest rate of inflation in 40 years.

Why Holcomb’s Plan Is Being Dubbed “Inflationary Relief”

The obvious connection between the Holcomb-chosen branding slogan of “Inflationary Relief” and big brand laxatives is undoubtedly intentional. Insiders tell WIBC’s Rob Kendall that Hoosiers will quite literally crap their pants when they finally learn what all this unnecessary buildup to Friday’s big reveal has been about.

Will “Inflationary Relief” Include A Full Return Of That $875.00 Per Hoosier Tax Surplus The State Of Indiana Is Currently Holding Hostage?

Unlikely, but you might get yourself a mere pittance of that full amount. Not enough to make even a teenie, weenie ding in that nearly $500 extra the average Hoosier will pay to fillup at the pump this year, but hopefully, just enough to quiet you down and keep you mindlessly voting for the RINOs proudly supporting Eric Holcomb in his mission to obliterate our state.

It’s Starting To Feel Like “Financial Molestation” Would Be A Better Branding Slogan For Holcomb’s Plan Than “Inflationary Relief.”

An astute observation! It does indeed increasingly feel like Governor Eric Holcomb and the Indiana Republican party are reaching directly into taxpayers’ pants and feeling around.

Do Kendall & Casey Have Additional Thoughts On Holcomb’s Forthcoming “Inflationary Relief” That’s Actually Not?

As a matter of fact, yes! Click below, happy reader.