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Great news for Hoosiers on the verge of moving to the state of Ohio to escape the oppressive communist COVID-19 restrictions imposed by the Holcomb and Hogsett regimes: happiness (in limited quantities, of course) is permitted once again in Monticello, Indiana!

Indiana Beach Water and Amusement Park will reopen to the general public this Saturday, June 27!

The park will be forced to reopen at 50% capacity. We suggest allowing conservatives full access and keeping liberals out until the COVID-19 restrictions are lifted.

Actually, what are the chances we could just designate Indiana Beach as a conservatives ONLY fun park? You don’t want to be mingling with political adversaries on your day off, do you? Let’s run with this idea! Conservatives get Indiana Beach. Liberals can have Riverside Amusement Park.

Now then, how do we want to divvy up the rest of the state? Who wants Muncie? Any takers? Anyone at all? Really? No one?

By the way, give a “thanks” to Indiana Beach Holdings LLC – the new owners of the park. They rescued this beloved treasure of our childhood to be enjoyed for generations to come.

Indiana Beach isn’t the only beloved Hoosier institution to re-open its gates this week either. Hammer and Nigel have details on the other cool establishment that’s ready for business!

Photo: WISH-TV