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A weasel judge in Canada is allowing a fellow Canadian and certified weasel to weasel out of paying off a $517,000 wager that said weasel lost in a best-of-three game of “rock, paper, scissors.”

Edmund Mark Hooper, the weasel of note, lost the wager back in January 2011 and was forced to take out a mortgage on his weasel hut home to pay off the debt, according to a report from the CBC, which declined to excessively label Hooper a ‘weasel.’

A ‘biased-to-weasel’ court invalidated the mortgage in a 2017 decision, finding that the amount wagered during the game was ‘excessive.’

Obvious Question: At what dollar amount does a ‘rock, paper, scissors’ bet become excessive? $100? $100,000? $499,999.99? Where in the Canadian law books does it specify how much money a Canadian can lose in a game of chance that’s typically played by elementary school children? Because if it’s not on the books, this weasel judge is just making up his own rules and should immediately be disbarred!

Seriously, this kind of crap does not happen in the United States judicial system. Yes, we let O.J. Simpson get away with an impromptu Benihana demonstration gone wrong, but we don’t let people get out of paying their gambling debts. Try that ‘I don’t want to pay’ crap in Las Vegas and you wind up with your head in a vice.

By the way, was that $517,000 in Canadian dollars or U.S.?

The game’s winner, Michel Primeau, appealed the decision, but Judge Weasel let Hooper off the hook. Adding insult to injury, you gotta figure Primeau’s legal bills to fight the judge’s ruling were probably pretty excessive as well, but I don’t imagine Judge Weasel will be waving those, will he? Weasel.

Hammer and Nigel have additional commentary:

Photo: Barcroft Media via Getty Images