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Let’s face it: even the most morally upright and distinguished Republican voter needs to cut loose and get a little naughty from time to time. All that intelligent thinking, hard work, common sense, responsibility, and clean living is demanding as hell, and it wears a person down.
My fellow conservatives, we all need to blow off some steam and take a well-deserved break from the pressures of being the politically superior beings in this constant circus of American affairs in government.
Thank goodness for “Conservative Porn.”
No, I’m not talking about hardcore, carnal displays of physical pleasure being played out by perfectly toned and well-endowed actors getting freaky while dressed as up as George and Martha Washington. I’m talking about the kind of porn that’s specific to our political leanings and doesn’t require a trip to confession in the morning.
Yes, we all need a release, and that kind of deep, guilt-free satisfaction only comes from that most cherished and honored pastime: watching liberals eat their own (Nudity optional).
Oh God, I crave it; and this week was a conservative porn lover’s buffet.
Here’s a look at what’s on the “Carnal Conservative” marquee for the week of November 16:
Tape 1: “Naughty Nancy Cries ‘Sexism’”
An elderly woman who is way past her prime cries ‘sexism’ in response to a lack support for her comeback bid as Speaker of the House.
Rated: ‘GF’ – Grossly excessive drooling and Frequent hip-breaking.
Tape 2: “James Clyburn: Blowing The Dog Whistle”
A former House Majority Whip is tormented by imaginary ‘dog whistles’ that only he can hear.
Rated: ‘VM’ – Might be potentially ‘triggering’ to those suffering from self-induced ‘Victim Mentality.’
The Chicks on the Right review this week’s double feature of conservative porn in the following clip:
