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Drugging rockstars. Cutting off fingers. Pooping on beds. Smashing cabinets and drinking wine from a giant goblet like a king from the renaissance era.

We’re no relationship experts, but it does appear that the marriage between Johnny Depp and Amber Heard had one or two elements about it that were mildly “unhealthy.”

Yes, the defamation trial between Johnny Depp and Amber Heard grows more fascinatingly disturbing by the day.

On Thursday, jurors were treated to the delight of viewing Depp’s text messages in which he referred to himself as a “f***ing savage” and a “lunatic,” and fantasized about killing Heard.

“Let’s drown her before we burn her!!!” Depp wrote to actor Paul Bettany in June 2013. “I will f*** her burnt corpse [sic] afterwards to make sure she’s dead.”

Charming stuff.

On Friday, jurors enjoyed some uplifting audio from July 2016, captured after the couple filed for divorce and Heard sought a restraining order against Depp.

“Where do you want the scar?” Depp says. Heard responds, “Don’t cut your skin. Please do not cut your skin. Why would I do that? Please do not do that. Please don’t cut yourself.”

Then came more text messages, read with tremendous dramatic style by Heard’s attorney, Ben Rottenborn!

“The only reason we go for the throat is love,” Depp wrote to Heard. She replied, “My throat is yours. You’re going to be the death of me, but I don’t care.” This prompted Depp to really turn up the charm, writing, “I have other uses for your throat which do not include injury.”

And then… MORE AUDIO for the big finish, featuring Depp calling Heard the “C” word and then vomiting!

And you thought Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith had issues.

Hammer and Nigel have more heartwarming highlights in the clip  below.