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Joe Biden, former vice president, probable sufferer of dementia, and presumptive loser of the 2020 presidential election just loves saying the word ‘intercourse.’

What is it about the feeling of the word ‘intercourse’ emerging from Biden’s lips in a public setting that he finds so insatiably delightful:

  • Is it the challenge of uttering a complexity of sounds in a single noun while simultaneously remembering the subject of his sentence?
  • Is it the look of horror on the face of the poor soul sitting across from him as the word serves as an unpleasant reminder of Biden’s alleged sexual history? 
  • Was “intercourse” the most recent “learn-a-word-a-week” screen-saver to scroll across the display of his 90s-era, porn-infested PC?

No one is 100% certain of the motivation behind Biden’s recent compulsatory need to lay his intercourse-centric jive talk on the tortured mainstream media victims of his mouth. It’s a question as equally perplexing as it’s brain-teasing counterpart: How in the living hell is this guy the last man standing out of ALL the 2020 democrat candidates for president?

Point to Ponder: The Democrats started with 29 total candidates running for President! The guy who told a story about little kids rubbing the hair on his legs and bouncing in his lap was the top pick?

Biden’s latest display of his finely-honed talent to work ‘intercourse’ into casual conversation occurred in an interview with the mind-numbingly awful hosts of MSNBC’s “Morning Joe.”

Biden-Specific Call-to-Action: Sir, we understand that you’re intending to utilize the word ‘intercourse’ as a means of discussing economic matters. The issue, however, is that you appear to be quite inconveniently accused of sexually-inappropriate behavior by multiple women. One of these women was only 14 when she alleges that you complimented her on her breasts. Given the aforementioned circumstances, we’d like to suggest you incorporate ANY OTHER WORD than “intercourse” into your vocabulary and never utter that ‘I-word’ again.

Possible Substitutes for “Intercourse”:

  • Dealings
  • Relations
  • Communion

Wait a Minute. Those Still Sound Dirty.

Try These Instead:

  • Commerce
  • Traffic
  • Business
  • Trading
  • Transactions
  • Negotiations
  • Interchange

Biden-Specific Olive Branch: If you simply MUST utilize the word ‘intercourse,’ we insist you reserve its usage for your special “alone and naked time” with Jill.

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