(Win McNamee/Getty Images)
Bernie Sanders, the posture-challenged Senator from Vermont with a cohesive and detailed plan to turn America into the great land of Venezuela – that place where families are forced to eat their pets for nourishment – has a spiffy idea to stop global warming in its tracks: TAX MEAT and other animals products!
Yes, what could be better for the struggling middle-class Americans who Socialist Sanders purports to support than to raise the cost of feeding their families? Not only will demand for the tasty meat of methane-spewing cows be reduced substantially, but due to the fact that animal byproducts are contained in the vast majority of item found on groceries shelves, consumption of food will decline overall! That’s right! Say “goodbye” to the childhood obesity epidemic and say “hello” to skinny jeans!
Here’s what Senator Sanders has to say on the technical matter of cutting (back on) cow farts:
“All I can say is if we believe, as I do and you do, that climate change is real then we are going to have to tackle it in every single area including agriculture, ok? And in fact, one of the things we want to do with our farmers out there is help them become more aggressive and able to help us combat climate change rather than contribute to it.”
Of course, if we all go vegetarian, methane production by humans will likely increase to offset the reduction in cow farts. But hey, let’s go green and “go” more often! Doctors say regularity is the key to long-term health and happiness, and the pleasing aroma of asparagus pee is one of my guilty pleasures!
By the way, I thought we were outfitting cows with those fart-collecting backpacks in California and using the methane for energy? Is that not working out, or did the farmers eliminate backpacks to prevent cattle from carrying guns to work? If that’s the case, I get it. No one wants to see a bunch of cows senselessly slaughtered.
The Chicks on the Right break down Bernie’s plan to save the world by destroying America in the clip below.
