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The good people of NASA have a polite request for anyone who discovers a meteorite:

“Keep the darn thing. Or, give it to a friend for their birthday. Or, sell it on eBay. OR, THROW IT THE HELL AWAY! Or, use it in the bedroom as a prop for whatever sick roleplaying games you and the Mrs. like to play after a couple of drinks on a Saturday night.

“But whatever you do, friend, remember this: Finders keepers. We don’t want your stupid space rocks, so do NOT send them to us! Not under ANY circumstances.

“Are we clear? Do you get it now? DO. YOU. GET. IT?”

Actually, the statement from NASA had a somewhat softer tone, but that was basically what they said.

You see, the recent bolide that created a sonic boom across three US states also created multiple meteorites. Thus, you might discover one in your backyard – especially if you live in Mississippi. And if you do, NEATO. But again, don’t send it to NASA.

“We are not meteorite people, as our main focus is protecting spacecraft and astronauts from meteoroids,” the organization that is not as advanced as SpaceX said. “So we will be unable to identify any strange rocks you may find — please do not send us rock photos, as we will not respond.”

In conclusion:

If you find a rock on your property, keep it for yourself or give it away as a gift.

If you find a rock that upon closer examination turns out to be a skull, call the police.

If that skull leads to further digging and the discovery of a body on your property, call a lawyer.

If that body turns out to be Jimmy Hoffa, start calling national media outlets. Get them to bid against each other for the exclusive story.

And finally, don’t forget to check out the Hammer and Nigel Show today from 3 pm-7 pm.