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Climate czar and intellectual giant John Kerry told conference attendees at an event hosted by the Ocean Conservancy on Tuesday that the world has a pretty ambitious target to hit on CO2 emissions: net-zero and then some!

How is that possible? Franken-Kerry explains:

“Even if we get to net-zero, we still have to get carbon dioxide out of the atmosphere.”

Now, we’re not ones to question old swift-boat’s qualifications as a climate expert, but the idea of eliminating all carbon dioxide from the atmosphere struck as potentially catastrophic to any and all life on this planet.

So, Hammer and Nigel went to their local library to learn all about soon-to-be-extinct gas, carbon dioxide.

Here’s what we learned would occur if all CO2 was removed from the atmosphere:

  • All trees and plants would die and therefore, there would be no photosynthesis and no oxygen sources.
  • Without plants, the main source of food in the food chain, no food would exist whatsoever and everything would die of starvation.
  • Carbon dioxide is an important greenhouse gas that helps to trap heat in our atmosphere. Without it, therefore, our planet would be inhospitably cold.

H&N Bonus Fact: Respiration, the process by which organisms liberate energy from food, emits carbon dioxide. When you exhale, it is carbon dioxide (amongst other gases) that you breathe out.

Inescapable conclusion: John Franken-Kerry has no earthly idea what carbon dioxide actually is nor what it actually does.  Our professional opinion is that he should not be someone considered to be an expert on environmental policy any more than Jason Hammer should be considered an expert on matters of health and fitness.