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There are so many blessed rewards that come with the joy of being a parent:

  • Dirty diapers
  • Midnight feedings
  • Damage to home
  • Temper tantrums
  • Constant whining
  • Constant expenses
  • Conditional love with the occasional “I hate you!” directed at you from your child.
  • Getting blamed for every problem and broken relationship your son or daughter experiences in adulthood.

Yes, the bond between parent and child is most sacred indeed, but it also demands your full commitment. Parenting is also a lot of work if you’re going to do it the right way. As the adult, it is your responsibility to be fully-intentional in how you raise your child in order to ensure that he or she goes out into the world as emotionally screwed up as possible.

Therefore, it is occasionally incumbent upon you to subject your son or daughter to a cruel and vicious prank for the purpose of your general amusement. Remember, it’s never ‘abuse’ when it is expressed with genuine love.

A perfect example of responsible parenting in action comes courtesy of a mother who decided to prank her sleeping son with a giant spider:

Beautifully executed by the mother. The above example is what responsible parenting is all about. 

Mother and son later hugged and enjoyed a good laugh together while awaiting the arrival of Child Protective Services.

Hammer and Nigel will have more on “Arachnid Mom” this afternoon, 3pm-7pm on WIBC.