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Friday morning, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi gave perpetually angry Democrats with no understanding of how government works a sneak preview of the next chapter in the Left’s ongoing “Orange Man Bad” crap show: Impeachment Articles are “Coming Soon” to a Republican-majority Senate. 

Senate seats sold out quickly for the limited-run engagement, which is likely to conclude with a Trump victory in a matter of days. Satellite viewership for the premiere is projected to be extraordinarily low due to competition from whatever ill-informed, anti-American rhetoric the members of the so-called “Squad” might be spewing at various rallies throughout the Impeachment’s limited-run engagement.

Sounds like Republicans are in for an enormously pleasurable time of popcorn chomping fun, while far-left progressives will be on suicide watch.

Yes, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi announced Friday that she will take steps next week to send impeachment articles to the Senate, after delaying the process for over a month in a desperate attempt to extract favorable terms for a trial (i.e. ensure she gets the exact outcome she seeks). 

“I have asked Judiciary Committee Chairman Jerry Nadler to be prepared to bring to the Floor next week a resolution to appoint managers and transmit articles of impeachment to the Senate. I will be consulting with you at our Tuesday House Democratic Caucus meeting on how we proceed further,” Pelosi wrote in a letter to colleagues. 

*Insert Sad Trombone HERE.

On a related note, Pelosi has been mercilessly mocked this week following a report in Time magazine, which noted the Speaker devised her scheme to withhold articles of impeachment from the Senate after getting the idea CNN.

*Insert uproarious laughter HERE.

Golly gee! I can hardly wait until next week! Neither can the Chicks on the Right.