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Peace was never possible…

Pablo Escobar’s hippos are taking over the marshlands of Colombia and scientists say they need to be shot before they gain an advantage over humanity via their “mega breeding” strategy.

A Cocaine Hippo History Lesson:

“Cocaine hippos” were illegally imported to the country by notorious drug lord Pablo Escobar, who was killed by authorities in 1993.

When Escobar was killed, authorities took control of his 7,000-acre estate, including a personal zoo.

Well, it turns out that hippos lousy attitudes and lousy pets. And since Pablo isn’t around to feed them hippo chow and treats anymore, the giant beasts have taken to terrorizing the country’s lakes and rivers instead.

The Cocaine Hippos’ War on Humanity is Escalating:

Environmentalists are warning that an exponential increase in breeding is about to occur and the herd could multiply to over 2,400 in the next four years alone. If that happens, they’ll be headed to the U.S. for free healthcare and housing soon enough, so prepare now.

You’ve been warned…