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Tom Cruise, America owes you a debt of gratitude for your service to the country in the waning days of 2020 – a time when people are depressed, dying, and/or derelict as a result of the pandemic. You’ve kept us fully entertained and amused, albeit not on purpose.

We’ve yet to hear your thoughts on whether or not the Coronavirus can be treated with exercise and vitamins, but thanks to an on-set meltdown that went viral, we know EXACTLY what happens to production assistants who violate social distancing regulations on films you’re producing: they receive a derrière chewing of exquisite brutality.

That magical Tom Cruise rant got one social media user who dabbles in creative genius to thinking: “If the elves in the North Pole were screwing around during the busy toy-making season, how would ‘Santa Cruise’ handle their insolence?”

Click the video below for the answer:

Poor elves. Plus, you gotta figure those tiny, pointed-ear workaholics wouldn’t appreciate that kind of talk from one of their own.

Fun Fact: Hammer and Nigel are on your radio every day from 4pm – 7pm on WIBC. Listen regularly or we’ll sic Tom Cruise on you.