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Kids, don’t do drugs. And also, don’t attempt to shower with stray cats. And also, don’t attempt to have sex in the shower with stray cats; it’s just not kosher.

Even if the cat offers consent, it’s simply not advisable to mount kitties.

Even if the feline is really hot and looks at you provocatively, do NOT get intimate with Mr. Whiskers – no, not even if he’s ‘asking for it’.

Bottom line: cat rape is not cool.

A homeless drug dealer in Arizona failed to heed the above advice, however, and now he’s facing charges of bestiality, which doesn’t exactly earn you ‘street cred’ with the boys in lockup.

From the Daily Mail:

A man in Arizona has been arrested for allegedly having sex in the shower with his pet cat. 

The Mesa Police Department responded to a call of a cat in distress at a residence located close to Val Vista Drive and University Drive on Wednesday.

There, a witness told authorities that 40-year-old Michael Navage, who is homeless, had taken his pet cat into the bathroom. 

The caller heard the cat screaming and could hear Navage shouting that ‘the cat was stuck on his penis’. 

The caller told police that they also repeatedly heard the man call the cat a ‘w***e,’ according to police reports obtained by 

Navage is also said to have told the cat to stop ‘s******g.’ 

A responding officer found the father in the bathroom naked with the cat partially wrapped in a towel near his genitals. Meth was also found inside the bathroom.  

Navage told police that he had not had sex with the cat, adding that he had loved the pet since he got it as a kitten. 

He repeatedly boasted to authorities that the ‘girth’ of his genitalia was too big to fit into the cat’s anus, which meant that it was ‘impossible’ for him to have sex with the cat.

Click the link below to hear the Chicks on the Right’s reaction to this story – especially Mock’s.