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We all have dreams that were birthed in childhood and slaughtered with one drunken, ill-advised photo. Some aspire to a life in showbiz. Others dream of becoming the CEO of a publicly-traded company. Hillary Clinton dreams of becoming the first female President of the United States – and she’ll get there if she has to assassinate every damn person who dares to question her authority. 

Yes, we all have dreams and fantasies, but no one ever says, “I wanna be a junkie when I grow up.”

Most of us at one time or another were told by some well-meaning, yet overly optimistic teacher that we could grow up to become anything we wanted… ANYTHING. And if you didn’t have the talent or ability to pull it off, society was still more than willing to make it happen for you. Hammer has an entire warehouse full of participation trophies – most of them given to him by his parents.

Still, a desire to serve in public office is something entirely different from any other profession. The minute you run for office, your adversaries will be digging into your past and finding anything – ANYTHING – they can use against you. 

With that in mind, Hammer and Nigel are proud to present a collection of photographs submitted by our listeners – photos that will ensure NONE of them ever become President.

Behold, and thank you to all the listeners who sent in their submissions.