(Vlad Fishman/Getty Images)
Hi, welcome to the “Fake News Cafe!” We specialize in a fine assortment of sumptuous, flavorful fake news declicacies to tantalize your senses and recreate the warmth, love and experience of those good, old-fashioned, home-cooked ‘fake news’ meals mom used to make.
Ah, fake news meals with the family. You remember, right? Dad would come home from a hard day at work, kiss mom on the cheek, sit down at the table, and then proceed to dish out massive helpings of fake news casserole:
Dad: “That G.D. Carter is sending this country to hell in a hand basket! Iranian mobs storm an American Embassy and that pantywaist can’t even get our hostages out? I hope he gets thrown out on his ass in the next election! And I hope Ben Affleck makes a damn movie about that Iranian bull s*** one day!”
Mom: “Sweetheart, the children are listening! Kids, don’t repeat what your father said at school.”
Dad: “I want ’em to repeat what I said, G.D. it! Kids, if your commie teacher has some problem with America you can tell her to talk to me about it and I’ll be glad to inform her that she’s more than welcome to kiss my ass!”
Dad: “Both cheeks, damn it! Now… What’s for dessert?”
Yes, and then Dad would storm off and kick the dog. Sweet memories.
At any rate, mainstream media outlets more than surpassed their ‘fake news’ quota over the weekend. Check out the segment below to enjoy a finely-crafted moment with the Chicks on the Right in which they hysterically break down the most sensationalistic headlines of the day.
Please note that you’ll want to click the accompanying share button to experience the maximum health benefit. Also note that this is different than the CHER BUTTON, which will redirect you to YouTube, where you’ll be forced to endure the music video for “If I Could Turn Back Time.”