Hoosier Caregiver Converts Grief to Service
INDIANAPOLIS, IN – As families prepare for the busy holiday season, November’s recognition of National Family Caregivers Month serves as a moment to honor the heroes supporting loved ones with Alzheimer’s and dementia.
In Indiana, over 219,000 caregivers provide an estimated 325 million hours of unpaid labor annually, a commitment valued at more than $6.9 billion.
For Indy local Marty Posch, the profound emotional and physical toll of caregiving is deeply personal. His journey has since transformed him into a dedicated volunteer and board member for the Alzheimer’s Association Greater Indiana Chapter.
The Burden of Love and Loss
Marty’s caregiving role began after his stepfather passed away in 2008 and he and his sister noticed signs of memory loss in their mother, Karen. They ultimately moved her from Chicago to Indianapolis to be close to family. Marty became her primary caregiver, managing her transition through assisted living and eventual memory care as her Alzheimer’s progressed over many years.
The emotional weight of that responsibility, combined with his professional and family duties, was immense.
“Every hospital visit felt like another step down,” Marty recalls. “I was trying to be a good husband, father, employee and caregiver, but I constantly felt like I was failing at all of it.”
He found himself lost, particularly concerning the necessary decisions and his own self-care. “I didn’t know where to turn. I didn’t know where to get the answers,” he said. While he had a loving support system, he lacked peers who understood his specific struggles. “I didn’t have a support system around me that had been through this before.”
A Crucial Shift in Perspective
Marty eventually reached out to the Alzheimer’s Association, a decision he credits with saving him emotionally. After his mother passed away in 2023, the prolonged mental focus on her care took its own toll. He found healing in a caregiver support group.
“People don’t realize the weight caregivers carry until they’ve lived it,” he emphasized. “At that first meeting, I just sat and cried. But I also felt hugged — literally and emotionally.”
The support groups provided the connection he craved. “It really helped me, um, emotionally,” Marty said. “It certainly made me more present, to be there for her, and filled up my cup so that I could therefore be a better caregiver to her, for sure.”
He shared a powerful piece of advice he received early in his journey, which changed how he approached his mother’s care: “It wasn’t my mom’s job to change. It was my job to change. It was my job to meet her where she was.” This included small things at the beginning, and later, allowing her to believe they were in Chicago with her parents. “It was my job to just follow along with her and be there with her.”
Dedication and Advocacy
Marty’s experience made it clear that advocacy was his next step. “It became very clear to me that this was something that I wanted to dedicate my life to… as an honor and a legacy to my mom,” he said.
Now a passionate volunteer and board member, Marty focuses on ensuring others avoid the isolation he felt.
“One of the main things I want to do through being a board member at the Alzheimer’s Association is to get the word out that we, we are not alone in this,” he stressed. He encourages people to talk to friends and colleagues about their challenges: “You’re going to find allies and you’re going to find people that can help, help be that shoulder, either for knowledge or that shoulder to cry on, which I think both of those are equally necessary.”
Marty also reminds caregivers that all their emotions—love, relief, frustration, and tenderness—are normal and validated. Above all, he says, caregivers must take care of themselves.
“You are not a good use to anybody if you’re not taking time off for yourself… you always have to be able to focus on making sure that you’re purposeful,” he advises.
The Association’s Impact
Marty’s efforts align with the work of the Alzheimer’s Association, which fights to provide critical resources to caregivers across the state. Last year alone, with the help of volunteers, the Association reached more than 10,000 Hoosiers through educational programs, support groups, and their essential 24/7 Helpline.
Resources for Hoosier Caregivers
If you are a caregiver seeking support or resources, you can contact the Alzheimer’s Association 24/7 Helpline at 1-800-272-3900 or visit their website https://www.alz.org/indiana for local support group information and educational programs.
