The Hammer and Nigel Show

(Ingo Dörenberg/Getty Images) You know, you really can’t beat the state of Florida for wacky hijinks. From Fox News: The mayor of a Florida town was arrested Thursday after he opened fire on deputies who were trying to serve a search warrant for allegedly operating an illegal medical practice at his home. Pasco County Sheriff Chris Nocco […]

(Roberto Machado Noa / Contributor / Getty Images) R. Kelly, R&B superstar and driving force behind the artistic masterpiece “Bump n’ Grind,” has been indicted on 10 counts of aggravated criminal sexual abuse.  According to CNN, Mr. R. Kelly enjoys having the sex with gals who are barely out of diapers.  No less than four alleged victims were named in […]

(Michael S. Schwartz/Getty Images) Alleged news organization Now This has released unaired footage of Fox News host Tucker Carlson telling Dutch historian Rutger Bregman to go “f— yourself,” and hear us now, it is GLORIOUS. The footage shows the two men talking about topics such as the news network’s role in politics and taxes on the rich.  […]

(Sunset Boulevard / Contributor / Getty Images) The great “Slow Roll of 2019” took place Thursday afternoon to great fanfare! It was a triumph for truckers, a raging success! “What constitutes a raging success?” no one has asked.  Well, it basically means that approximately 4.5 truckers got out on 465 today and stayed the hell out […]

(KSwinicki/Getty Images) American hearthrob, snappy dresser, and friend to kittens, Rob Kendall returned to the Hammer and Nigel show for another rousing edition of “Off The Rails.” This week, Rob takes on Governor Eric Holcomb – a liberal who masquerades as a Republican. Here’s what’s happening, according to one of the remaining reporters at the […]

(Sunset Boulevard / Contributor / Getty Images) If you’re trying to bring attention to your cause and generate support, a protest that screws your existing base of supporters is quite logically the worst idea ever. Truckers are planning a “slow roll” Thursday on Interstate 465 as a way to protest the federal rules.  Under those rules, […]

(Afro Newspaper/Gado / Contributor/Getty Images) Actor and fake victim Jussie Smollett (You know, the liar?) is taking heat from some pretty high-profile members of the black community for being a dumb ass and ruining black history month. Clean version: Rapper Cardi B. said she was “disappointed” in Smollett in a livestream Instagram video over the Presidents […]

(MacTrunk/Getty Images) Hammer and Nigel Records has an all new single climbing the charts, and this one is headed straight to #1 in the U.S. AND NIGERIA! Click below to sample and download the latest hit song that’s got liberals and Jussie Smolletts’ fan base sending death threats to 40 Monument Monument Circle: “Jussie’s Girls”

(Paras Griffin/Getty Images) “Empire” actor and prolific liar Jussie Smollett got himself wrapped up in a Nigerian scam – and for once, the NIGERIANS are the victims. Well, sort of. Here’s the latest, accoring to the fine journalists of CBS: “Empire” actor Jussie Smollett, upset after a racist letter sent to the show’s studio didn’t […]

(Heritage Images/Getty Images) President Donald Trump is a supreme deal-maker. He’s a master negotiator. He’s every American’s favorite President “in like the history of ever.” How do I know our Commander-in-Chief is second only in glory and perfection to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ? Because he told me so (Trump – not Christ). Yes, […]