It was three years ago, but the memory is clear. In fact, every single moment of that day is seared deep into my heart. It’s just not the kind of thing you forget.
It was the afternoon of Friday, December 22, 2017, and I was doing my show in the WIBC studio with Terri Stacy, one of my very favorite people in the whole world and a total sweetheart to boot!
I should have been having the time of my life. After all, it was almost Christmas, and I had decided that we were definitely not talking politics that day.
I said to Terri, “Let’s just goof around and have fun for a couple of hours; make it one big party!”
“Great!” Terri said. “I’ll make some calls and see if I can get us some really big-name celebrity as a surprise guest. Who do you want?”
“You pick,” I replied. “Get whoever you want.”
So who does she book? Santa Claus… The big jerk.
Understand, it’s not that I necessarily had anything personal against Santa Claus. It’s just that I thought he talked a big game when in reality he was completely and utterly full of crap.
I didn’t always feel that way, of course. As a kid, I loved going downtown to L.S. Ayres to ride on the train, make cookies, and sit on Santa’s lap as I listed off my Christmas demands. It was great!
Then one Christmas morning I woke up and discovered that Santa had “stiffed” me that year. My brothers got everything they wanted, but not me. Oh, I got plenty of gifts alright, but not the thing I wanted most.
I was furious by the time we opened the last gift.
And get this: he still had the nerve to help himself to the cookies and milk I left out on Christmas Eve. What a freeloader.
Still though, I didn’t want my feud with Santa to ruin my daughter’s relationship with him. So, like a good and dutiful father, I took Sarah to see him at the Indiana State Museum. She had a great time, and when it was her turn to talk to Santa, I did my best to avoid eye contact.
Now I was about to come face-to-face with the guy, but at least it was on my turf. I was tempted to tear into him the moment he entered the studio, but I decided to be a gentleman about it and pretend to be nice even though I was seething inside.
The interview started out fine. Everyone was nice and pleasant and after a while, I actually loosened up and started to enjoy myself a little bit.
Then it happened.
The minute I let my guard down, Santa started egging me on and getting all pushy with a bunch of personal questions that were none of his darn business.
I tried to be patient. I tried to be nice. I tried to control my temper. But he couldn’t let it go. He just kept pushing and pushing until finally, I decided to give him a piece of my mind and let dear old Santa Claus know EXACTLY what I thought of him.
This is the full recording of what happened that fateful day…
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