**Mock & Rob Corporate Tip: Never Google “Tiger King Porn” on your work computer when conducting research for the purpose of writing a blog post – Not Under ANY Circumstance!
Official and Important Media Report: Jeff and Lauren Lowe, stars of the Netflix hit “Tiger King,” have reportedly been offered $300,000 to film three sex tapes.
Truthful and Blunt Media Report: Greasy and gross producers of pornographic videos have offered LAUREN Lowe $300,000 to film a sex tape. Jeff is welcome to participate as well if he must – as long as he remembers that viewers aren’t paying to see him.
Official and Important Media Report: An insider who is close to the couple told TMZ, “Jeff and Lauren are definitely going to ink a sex tape deal, but they’re still deciding on which company to sign with.’
Truthful and Blunt Media Report: An “insider” who is actually Jeff Lowe told TMZ that Lauren is definitely going to sign a ink a sex tape deal if he pressures her long enough.
Official and Important Media Report: Reportedly, the reality stars will be required to engage in threesomes.
Truthful and Blunt Media Report: Lauren will be required to engage in threesomes, which will always involve another woman. This will minimize Jeff’s visibility for the viewer so they can focus on the two women in the video.
Official and Important Media Report: Producers hope Lauren and Jeff’s popularity with Netflix viewers of “Tiger King” will help to fuel sales of their videos.
Truthful and Blunt Media Report: Rob Kendall is already saving his money.
But while “Mock & Rob” show co-host Rob Kendall is concerned with working “Tiger King Porn” into his monthly budget, Mock is fighting the good fight for humanity and monkeys – monkeys who don’t do porn but are instead forced to fetch coconuts for captains of industry or be subject to beatings.
Mock & Rob have the inside scoop on both non-election-related stories below. Also, you’re welcome.
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