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Tremendous news to report on this fine American day, kids! Our good friend, “Karen,” has accepted Jesus Christ as her personal Lord and Savior! Even better, she’s skipped straight past that whole boring “share the Good News with others” phase and moved right into the “cast out supermarket demons while making threatening gestures that frighten children” stage.

Impressed? You bet were are! Only three days as a follower of Christ and Karen’s already embarrassing other Christians on a national level.

Karen’s latest supermarket exorcism took place on Tuesday at a Fred Meyer grocery store – a chain similar to Indiana’s former O’Malia’s grocery stores, but with far more demons in the cereal aisle.

Face coverings are required inside the Fred Meyer grocery store, but Karen leans on her faith to ward off demons AND deadly germs, so no worries! And anyway, even if Karen DID catch COVID and die, she’s relatively confident she could rise from the grave three days later. She hasn’t tested her theory as of this writing, but she’s pretty sure it would work.

At any rate, Karen hit the Fred Meyer grocery store Tuesday to do her shopping for the week and cast our a few demons out of aisle 7.

Behold “Supermarket Karen” doing the Lord’s work:

Hammer and Nigel, WIBC’s daily bearers of Good News from 3pm-7pm, provide play-by-play commentary of “Supermarket Karen’s” competitive grocery exorcism demonstration in the clip below.