Sorry, show choirs, but it looks like your days are numbered.
Oh sure, you’ve brought joyful noises and jazz hands to generations upon generations of audiences around the world, but it’s a COVID-19 world now, and your singing voice is a deadly weapon that must be banned in order for the species to survive.
Here’s what’s up:
The country of Germany is allowing its citizens to return to church, but there are a few rules they’ve had to implement ‘for your protection.’
- Get as close to the Lord as you like, but stay at least six feet away from other folks in the congregation.
- Wear a mask (If you can find one made of Holy cloth, all the better).
- ABSOLUTELY NO SINGING, YOU RECKLESS SINNERS!
Scientific researchers – the same ones who told us that COVID-19 could be spread through flatulence – now suspect that the Coronavirus is more easily transmitted by singing.
That’s right, the same country where you’re allowed to drive 200 mph on the autobahn – provided you stay in the slow lane, of course – has determined that singing is more hazardous to your health than second-hand smoke.
You know it’s only a matter of time until Dr. Anthony Facui recommends the elimination of singing in the U.S. No more singing, no more show choirs, and no more joy (too late).
Don’t be a harmony-making denier! The science is settled, people… Until the researchers and government officials change their mind again tomorrow.
By the way, even though Germany worshipers are forbidden from signing, communion will still be offered. Nothing more hygiene-conscious than a bunch of congregants’ grubby fingers dipping bread into the community wine cup.