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Well done, parents of millennial children! More than three-in-four of your soon-to-be drowning in crushing student loans college-goers want “safe spaces” on their campuses that are free of “threatening actions, ideas, or conversations.”

A poll conducted by Gallup and the Knight Foundation found that 78 percent of students support “safe spaces” where threatening ideas and conversations would be barred.

But here’s the thing: the poll also found that 97 percent of college students believe that free speech is an essential pillar of American democracy.

Confusing? Well, not exactly.

More than 80 percent favor the establishment of a “free-speech zone” where preapproved protests and the distribution of literature are permitted.

Translation: “We’ll allow free speech, but only free speech that’s been fully-vetted and deemed acceptable for consumption by human ears – and only in the places where the authoritarian figures decide that free speech may be heard.”

Legitimately Confusing: 58 percent of students support a ban on federal funding for colleges that do not protect free-speech rights.

No wonder we have so many kids in their late 20s living with mom and dad: they’re dumb.