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Are you one of the millions of Americans suffering from daily bowel movements with no possible means of removing the incriminating evidence?

Have a wife who’s full of fiber, but not a thing with which to wipe her?

Got a pot that’s full of stinky, yet not a single roll of TP?

If so, why not try a discount pack of Mike Huckabee’s All-Natural Crack-Cobs, “Grown in The South, but NOT for Your Mouth.”

Mike Huckabee’s all-natural crack-cobs are organically-grown, biodegradable, and most-excitingly, PALM OIL FREE! Yes, with every wipe, you’ll be doing your part to protect the critically-endangered habitat of the Sumatran orangutan!

Isn’t that right, Clyde?

Mike Huckabee’s All-Natural Crack-Cobs are available in packages of 6, 12, or full-harvest 24!

And for those with digestive challenges who demand the ultimate luxury in post-BM cleanup, try our all-new “IBS Ultra!” Twice the corn, twice the cob!

But don’t take our word for it!

Mike Huckabee’s All-Natural Crack-Cobs: “It’s a Sunny Day When You Wipe Mike’s Way!”

Now a proud sponsor of the Hammer and Nigel Show…

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