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Do you know what stinks about grocery shopping? The ‘people’ part. People suck! Their mere presence at any given number of public locations causes stress, chaos, disorder, frustration, and general pissiness at all times.

Just think of all the pleasant experiences of life that are spoiled and often soiled by the unwelcome intrusion of your fellow human beings:

  • Amusement parks
  • Movie theaters
  • Malls
  • Highways
  • Restaurants
  • Airplanes
  • Parking lots
  • Public Pools
  • Public Bathrooms
  • The DMV
  • Fitness Centers
  • Prisons
  • Sex

The above list is by no means comprehensive, but I think we can all agree that those experiences were initially designed to be enjoyed in solitude.

Shopping at the grocery store is another one of life’s simple pleasures that has been destroyed by the unfortunate necessity of having actual people utilize them. Kids sneezing on produce, annoying employees forcing tasty food samples in your face, and of course… THE CHECKOUT LANE.

I hate checkout lanes with the fury of a thousand suns. Kids screaming at their moms to buy them candy bars, a-holes with 15 items in the 10 items or less lane, old biddies paying by check. And there are never more than two checkout lanes open in a store equipped with 20 of them!

Yes, grocery shopping sucks, but there is hope…

Amazon is opening its first cashier-less supermarket, where shoppers can grab their tasty, flavorful, and hygienically packaged meats, produce, and frozen dinners without waiting in line at all!


At the new store, which opened this week in Amazon’s AOC-free hometown of Seattle, shoppers scan a smartphone app to enter the store, cameras and sensors track what’s taken off shelves, and items are charged to an Amazon account after leaving.

That’s some hi-tech, space-age grocery shopping s*** right there!

And Amazon Go Grocery is a bigass store too – 10,400 square feet. You’ll still have to share it with other people, but with that kind of space, you can keep your distance and minimize your chances of contracting Coronavirus.

The Chicks on the Right have more in the clip below.

(Photo: Nastya_ph/Getty Images)