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Want a six figure job without a the hassle of obtaining a college degree? San Francisco has you covered.

California’s most disasterously insane city (and that’s saying something) has just hired a team of “poop patrollers” to deal with the city’s massive public defecation problem. Total salary with benefits? $185K per year.

Yes, San Francisco has now allocated over $100 million to combat poop.

In just one week last month, the city of San Francisco logged over 16,000 complaints of human poop on the streets.

Apparently the mayor recently took a walk around the city and was shocked by all the feces and needles, so she decided to solve the problem by throwing obscene amount of money around. It’s California; it’s what they do.

For clarification, this story is not parody.

WIBC hosts Hammer and Nigel discuss whether it’s time for a career change in the following clip, which is the best thing you’ll hear all day:


“If somebody came up to you today, Mr. Jason Hammer, and said they’d offer you $185K to pick up poo?”


“I would be out the door so fast, you wouldn’t even see me. Not only would I leave this show to pick up poo, for $185K per year, I might even use my bare hands.”