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Remember that little New York Times anonymous op-ed piece that was allegedly penned by a Senior Trump official? It turns out that President Trump is quite jolly pissed about it; he’s quite pissed indeed.

“Ah, but just how pissed is our Commander in Chief?” you might ask. “On the official ‘Trump’s Pissed-O-Meter’, are we at ‘mildly pissed’ or ‘full-blown nuclear option pissed?’” More importantly, how often can the word ‘pissed’ be utilized in this posting before it borders on completely and totally obnoxious? 

Yeah, too late.

Here’s the deal: President Donald Trump has ordered the full focus and investigative resources of the Justice Department be devoted to the task of determining just who in the bloody hell wrote that nasty, treasonous, tabloid-esque, insider’s ‘tell-all’ about life in the Trump White House!

But why divert the attention of the Justice Department with this investigation into the identity of ‘Deep Throat 2.0’ (no relation to the exotic video series) when WIBC’s Hammer of the Hammer and Nigel Show has single-handedly identified the identity of the officially unidentified official who dabbles in the world of tabloid journalism under the pen name “Guess Who, Bitches?”

So who’s getting writer’s cramp without the official credit? Well, according to amateur conspiracy theorist Jason Hammer, the REAL culprit is none other than President Donald Trump! That’s right; Donald Trump is Keyser Söze. Now you know.

How did Hammer come to this highly-researched, scientific conclusion? He and Nigel explain in the following clip. Click on it! Click on it right this instant or we’ll have the Justice Department all over your ass by Monday: