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We get it; you’re absolutely POSITIVE that you need a log in your fireplace that smells like fried chicken. You’ve never needed one before, but now that you’re aware of its existence, you can’t live without it. 

We understand the twisted mindset and mental state that you find yourself in at this time. We’re sensitive to it, and we ask that you now proceed to find healing by carefully completing the following steps in their EXACT, SPECIFIC order:

Step 1: Stop reading this article and take a moment to collect yourself.

Step 2: Punch yourself in the face repeatedly.

Step 3: Proceed with the remainder of this article and enjoy some words of wisdom from WIBC host Tony Katz.

Katz:

“The crazy thing is, I’ve only had KFC twice in my life and both times I got sick. One was at camp and I threw up in the tent. The other time I ate KFC was like a few years ago and that didn’t end well either.

But the idea of a fried chicken log is exciting to me because I love fried chicken in a way that is irrational. 

Here’s the thing: You DON’T need a yule log that smells like fried chicken; you need the Tony Katz solution for better chicken-scented fire. My solution? Because look, you’re not going to get one of these logs; I tried, they sold out in a few hours. The solution is to just get a bucket of fried chicken and throw it in the fire.”

Click the link below to enjoy more Tony Katz.

And download his podcast, which you can take along with you in the car while you hit the KFC drive-thru. You know you’re going, so at least enjoy some quality entertainment while you’re consuming greasy, fried poultry. Hey, at least you’ll be feeding your BRAIN with something nutritious: