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Democrats are back in control of the U.S. Congress, kids!

Yes, you prayed for the kind of Christmas miracle that would somehow undue the disastrous results of November’s election, but alas, ‘Pelosi and the Pinheads’ (Hey, there were a great group, weren’t they? Really tight harmonies!) are back in D.C. to do what they do best: obstruct and make every effort possible to f**k up the Republic.

Here’s a quick recap of day one’s greatest hits:

1. Rep. Rashida Tlaib of Michigan told her son she was going to D.C. to “Impeach the motherf**ker.”

2. Rep. Hank Johnson of Georgia (Yes, the ‘Guam might tip over’ guy) compared President Trump to Hitler.

3. Rep. Steve Cohen of Tennessee iintroduced a bill calling for the abolishment of the electoral college.

4. Rep. Brad Sherman of California introduced articles of impeachment against President Trump.

5. Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez kept getting distracted by shiny stuff and the occasional squirrel.

Note to dumbass Democrats in D.C.: Most of the voting public is either center-right or center-left, and we hate this crap. 

Hammer and Nigel broke down the day’s fun in the following clip: